This isn't a football post.

From the title of this particular blog post, you can probably expect to hear nothing about football.


We'll see in due time if that is correct.

It's very difficult to write down what I actually think about, because recently I've just had so much on my mind, that even I cannot figure out what my brain is actually doing.

Still, from what I can attempt to gather, it goes something like this:

ARGH.


While I am finding my existence to be quite enjoyable right now, it still feels like I am a world away from being comfortable and accepting of what is going on.

Studying at UTS has (so far) been incredible when compared to some previous study at Macquarie, and I find the people in the course I'm doing (Journalism) to be very friendly and cool...Yes cool. It's the only word I could think of. Shut up.

While that's all great fun, I've found it quite different to be so involved in the uni life, as I haven't really been used to that until now. I feel like I'm more capable of hurting people and getting people angry, and for me that's incredibly difficult to deal with and it's quite stressful. It isn't as if I need to be stepping around peoples feelings, it's just that I know that while I try to be the "nice guy", I'm also capable of being the mistakingly hurtful "bad guy."

The studies though are great, and I consider myself very lucky to have met the people I've met so far at uni.

Being busy with things like university studies, drama performances/rehearsals, interning at Goal.com, football on weekends and whatever else I've forgotten, it feels like I'm not exactly in control of where I'm going or what I'm doing.

It's obvious that I picked to do these things, and I enjoy them all, but part of me is just thinking "why won't things happen how I want them to?"

That's kind of an odd thing to think, because when I look at what I'm doing, it is what I want to be doing, but I just feel like there's some kind of...emotional emptiness.

I've got football, great friends, and studies, and while they all evoke some emotional responses (uh oh, it's understanding communications class!), I don't think they draw out the extremes.

Not sure where that's going, but I'll probably end it there to give myself a speck of privacy, so the majority can think "what the hell is he on about?", while a select few can think "ahh yep" or something like that.

Anyway! FOOTBALL (see, it's here)

Arsenal vs. Aston Villa tonight....not really wanting to watch the Gooners tonight after their joke of a performance against Stoke last round.

Wigan vs. West Ham on the other hand looks interesting, as it's a relegation battle which will hopefully keep the Latics in the league!